That Little Voice

I'm willing to bet that at one point in your life, you've thought "How do I know I'm hearing from God?"
I strongly believe that everyone hears from Him in a different way. Some people might hear an audible voice, others might hear His voice in nature, art, music, food, anything.
I know that I personally hear Him in many of those ways. However, I would say the most frequent mode of communication is a feeling. It's hard to explain, but it's like a nagging feeling in your heart and the pit of your stomach. It's also a feeling of contentment and just knowing that a decision is right.

Yesterday I was absentmindedly browsing craigslist jobs. I came across one titled "Concierge" in the "healthcare" category. I never look in the healthcare category, mostly I just stick to the Administrative/Office type things. I'm not sure how this particular posting came up, but I clicked on it regardless. (Honestly, it was probably just because I like saying the word 'concierge'.) Basically it's a font-desk/hostess position for an assisted living center for the elderly. After reading it I thought, "I could totally do this job!" I googled the facility and found out it is brand new and literally across the street from my apartment. Browsing the website, I discovered that it seemed like a very luxurious and welcoming place. Their craigslist posting was friendly, yet professional, and I emailed it to myself--just 'cuz.
The rest of the day and night, the idea of this job was constantly in my head. I woke up and it was the first thing I thought of. I decided then that I probably needed to respond to the ad. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became.
Working in a daycare was the most enjoyable job I have ever had. I love taking care of people's loved ones and growing attached to the kids. But another part of me craves a professional environment- working on a computer and being in an office. It dawned on me that this job would be the best of both professions! I could interact with the residents, be involved with caregiving (even if it is indirectly) but I would also be in an office environment performing administrative support duties.
And most importantly, I would be involved in something that mattered. I am so tired of working for the sake of paying the bills. I long to do something that I enjoy and something that means more in the bigger picture, ya know?
Long story short, I wrote a kick-ass cover letter, tweaked my resume a tad and sent it off. About 20 minutes ago.

Am I getting my hopes up? Possibly.

But I just can't ignore the 'little voice' that wouldn't let me pass this opportunity by.

Four-Eyes

I have to go to the eye doctor today. For some reason, I am really dreading it. I haven't been since I was probably 9 years old, and I am nervous. I am not looking forward to the idea of wearing glasses again, although I desperately need them since I am practically blind at this point. I know they will make a world of difference and my headaches will go away (and I will be able to pass the vision test at the DMV...). But I don't want them!! Maybe I am more vain than I thought. I feel like they are going to totally change my appearance and they will be in the way and I am sure I will develop the habit of unconsciously using my finger to push them up on the bridge of my nose...... Mostly, I feel like I will look like a nerd. (I am a nerd, but I don't want people to know that just by looking at me!)
I am totally having a "Stephanie" moment. Where's my Steve Urkel??

I am pretty sure I will get contacts, but not right away. I have to get over the idea of touching my eye first.


Anyway, I was looking online and found some frames that were okay, I guess. Although, I have no idea what's going to look good on my face. And I'm pretty sure my selection won't be as glamorous.

These by Baby Phat were my favorite of the ones I saw.
Then, because my sister loves hers so much, I looked at some Candies.

These are cute, but I definitely do not like the color.And then here are some from Juicy Couture, just cuz.



Only an hour left and I am not feeling any better. Although, this did make me smile.

Randomness

I have a lot of random thoughts and not sure how to make them all into one cohesive blog entry. Maybe bullet points and hyperlinks are my best option.

• I finally named my car! I wasn't really trying to name it, or even concerned with the fact that it didn't have a name. But as I was driving to work, I caught a glimpse of my car's shadow and it dawned on me: Fiona! FYI, my last car's name was Shrek, because the shadow looked like him, with the side mirrors as his ears and all. It made me laugh, so it stuck. So when I saw my new car's shadow, it still looked a little like an ogre, so....she shall henceforth be named Fiona. I like it.
  
  
• Since her single came out, I have been adamantly boycotting Lady Gaga. Everytime I heard the song on the radio, or heard her name, I immediately changed the station. It was mostly based on her ridiculous factor, plus the snippet that I'd heard of her song didn't seem like something I would enjoy. But the other day I decided to give her a chance... I listened to the song when it came on the radio, and yes, it was dumb. But it wasn't that bad. I have to admit, it's catchy. And I'm very entertained by the twang in her voice when she says "dance".
  But now....EVERY SINGLE TIME I get in the car, I hear that damn song. If it wasn't annoying the first time, it's definitely annoying now. Here's hoping that she comes out with another single before the boycott is back on.
  
  
• In other, slightly related news, I am totally in love with Ne-Yo. If you haven't listened to him, you really, really should. It's a little hard to admit, but my love for him is starting to rival Jason's. (I can't help it...his voice is so smooth and his dancing is so sexy! Plus, Jason is starting to get a little 'out there'. You know it's true!)
  My mom went to see Ne-Yo in concert on Friday in California. I honestly don't think I've ever been so jealous of something in my entire life. And for some absurd reason, he will not be making a stop in Denver. So sad. But at least she sent me pictures and videos so I can pretend like I was there. :)
  
  
• On Friday, Steve and I went to see Coraline: 3D. It was pretty good. The animation was really neat. But the story, which was by Tim Burton, was a little creepy. I definitely wouldn't take any children to this movie, unless you want them to have nightmares about psycho mommies and dolls with button eyes... Mostly, we went because it was in 3D. And we are huge 3D nerds. (as evidenced in the picture below...)

Okay, maybe we're just huge nerds. But I don't care, I love us. :)

A quick little catch-up

I know I haven't written anything in a while. And it's not because I haven't wanted to. Actually, that's kind of a lie. Besides being (sort of) busy, I just haven't been feelin it lately. And I'm not especially feelin it right now, I'm just bored out of my mind at work and this is one of the few websites they haven't blocked in their latest bout of censorship. (I am still mourning the unexpected loss of Facebook...)

January is almost over, I can't believe it! I have to say, it was a pretty good month. However, I'm kind of partial to it since it happens to be my birthday month!

This year was honestly the best birthday I've had in a really, really long time.

Thanks to an extremely sweet boyfriend, having two days off of work, Cheesecake Factory and this:

it is safe to say I will remember this birthday for a long time.

The rest of January is a little stressful for me since I just discovered that my license expires on the 31st and I have no idea where to go or what I need to do to get a new one. This also means that when I get my new license, I will officially be a Colorado resident. I'm not sure how I feel about that...

I guess that is all for now. My head hurts from staring at the computer today. I really need glasses (and really don't want them...)

Movie Life

The other day while watching the end of The Notebook, I asked Steve (knowing full-well how ridiculous and girly I sounded) if he would write me a love letter. I assumed the response would include a laugh, which it did, but I thought it was worth a shot! His reply: "If we're ever made into a movie, I'll write you one." :)
So just for fun...here's this thing.

Here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

opening credits: Bubbly Toes (Jack Johnson)
waking up: One Day I'll Fly Away (Moulin Rouge)
first day at school: Fergalicious (Fergie)
falling in love: Dare You to Move (Switchfoot)
fight song: Tomorrow's Another Day (MxPx)
breaking up: The Long Day is Over (Norah Jones)
prom: I Wanna Be (Chris Brown)
life: Vegas (Sara Bareilles)
mental breakdown: I Heard You (Good Charlotte)
driving: Next to You (Ciara)
flashback: Better Together (Jack Johnson)
wedding: Gravity (Sara Bareilles)
birth of a child: Bella Luna (Jason Mraz)
final battle: Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie)
funeral song: Work (Jimmy Eat World)
end credit: On Love in Sadness (Jason Mraz)

Not bad.

(obligatory New Year's post coming soon...)

What Christmas Means to Me

I've been trying for days, well, years really, to accurately articulate how and why Christmas is so important to me. I haven't been very successful, but I did have this small epiphany:
It's really important to me. And I mean really, really, really important. In an almost unhealthy, obsessive-compulsive way. (One of the many, many compulsions. But that's an entirely different (and long and amusing) post.)

I think this is where part of the explanation lies. As far back as I can remember, the holidays were always the same. We had the same food, the same routines, the same movies, the same traditions every year. No matter what crappy things had happened that year, we always had Christmas and were reminded that we were still a family and that would never change. For this slightly obsessive-compulsive girl, change doesn't come smoothly. I think I still expect Christmas to mean the same things and feel the same as it always has.

Now, I know that it's perfectly fine to make new traditions and I am excited to make some this year. But deep down in my soul, I can't shake the fear that "Christmas just won't be Christmas without _____."
It's an irrational fear that's very real to me. I know it puts way too much expectation on everyone, including myself, but it's not something that I feel I can help. And really, what is the harm in having to have stockings and a tree and watching A Christmas Story at least 5 times?!

The fact that this year will be my first-ever Christmas not spent with my family scares me. Aside from the obvious sadness, it gives me a panic attack to think that I won't have fudge or white cookies, or a huge Christmas dinner, or stockings "mysteriously" filled with miniature dolls and my favorite candy or............

How will it really be Christmas without my family and all of those things??

First Snow

The snow on Friday (and again on Sunday) was my first of the season. It was lovely indeed, but it wasn't long before I remembered the love-hate relationship I have with snow.
The first not-so-fun experience was driving to pick up the boy from work. I have terrible night vision as it is, but pair that with the blowing snow and glaring headlights in my eyes, and it's a disastrous combination. It wasn't too bad, but by the time I got there my hands hurt from being clenched tightly on the wheel and my eyes hurt from focusing on the road. Needless to say, I didn't drive on the way back.
The second-and worst-snow experience occurred on Saturday morning. I slept through my alarm and woke up 15 minutes before we had to leave to take the boy to work. Knowing it was going to be snowy and cold, I put on my new "Nine West version" Ugg boots for their winter-weather debut. It's important to note the house sits on a hill and you have to tread down this hill to get to the street where my car was parked. Knowing the driveway would be icy and slick, I opted for the snow-covered, grassy part of the hill thinking my new boots could handle it. That's what they're for, after all!
I had a little slip, but didn't think anything of it. The boy saw and warned me to be careful, while trying to get my hand. But he wasn't quick enough, as my next step was my downfall, literally. I slipped and fell flat on my back into the inch of snow!! I don't know if it was the fact that I was so tired, or stressed from running late, or angry at my shoes, or embarrassed that I fell, or in pain from falling, but tears immediately filled my eyes and they wouldn't stop!! The boy helped me up and brushed me off and we managed to get to the car without another mishap.
Once I had calmed down, the boy asked me what the bottoms of my shoes looked like. I mentioned that they were snow boots and should have a good sole, but when I showed him he cracked up laughing. (Which in turn made me cry again, I have no idea...) I believe his exact words were, "I bet you have flip flops with more traction than those things!" :(
I was not amused. I was irate at my stupid shoes. He tried to console me by saying, "At least they look good.." and I blew up "NO THEY DON'T! They are hideous and ugly and stupid. I hate the way they look, the only reason I wear them is because I thought they would be good for the snow!"
Once my tears dried, I was able to laugh a little. But once the boy said, "I looked back and saw you laying on the ground and thought, 'what are doing, making snow angels?! I gotta get to work!'" there was no stopping the laughter. Things like that are just some of the many reasons I'm so head over heels for him. :)

So, I was rudely reminded that although the snow is beautiful and enchanting and lovely, it's not always very nice. I love it and then I hate it and I don't think that's going to change anytime soon.